| Author |
Message |
    
Kid_vicious
Advanced Member
Username: Kid_vicious
Post Number: 601
Registered: 9-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 13, 2005 - 7:13 pm: | 
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DROOL!!!
just a quick laugh to break up the monotany.
i usually hear this joke associated with bass players, but i think it works.
matt |
Tech808
Moderator
Username: Tech808
Post Number: 7085
Registered: 8-2002
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 13, 2005 - 8:49 pm: |
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Probably the exact same score as a Nasa Engineer, Shuttle Commander, The President, Pipe Fitter, Nurse, Doctor, Fireman, Policeman, or a Licensed Ham or 100% of the Copper Forum Members. 
Lon
Tech808
CEF808
N9OSN 
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Chad
Intermediate Member
Username: Chad
Post Number: 442
Registered: 11-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 13, 2005 - 8:52 pm: |
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How do you know the drum riser is level?
->The drummer drools out both sides of his mouth!
What's the difference between a bass player and a large pizza?
-> A large pizza can feed a family of four!
Did you hear about the drummer that locked his keys in the car?
-> it took them 20 minutes to get the bass player out!
The difference between an opera singer and a bull dog?
->The makeup
Difference between a violin and a fiddle?
-> you carrry the fiddle in a bag.
The difference between a cello and bass?
-> the bass burns longer.
Chad |
Kid_vicious
Advanced Member
Username: Kid_vicious
Post Number: 605
Registered: 9-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 13, 2005 - 9:03 pm: |
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too true lon; too true!
how about this one?
how many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
ANSWER: three!
one to screw it in,
one to mod the bulb for higher wattage,
and one to tell the first guy that the light coming out of his bulb, "stinks!" |
Allagator
Advanced Member
Username: Allagator
Post Number: 682
Registered: 9-2002
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 13, 2005 - 9:32 pm: |
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Navyrebel782003
Junior Member
Username: Navyrebel782003
Post Number: 38
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 13, 2005 - 9:59 pm: |
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Kid, that is funny...lol |
Kid_vicious
Advanced Member
Username: Kid_vicious
Post Number: 606
Registered: 9-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 13, 2005 - 10:48 pm: |
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thanks guys, today is my 31st birthday and an old musician friend emailed me that first joke; as he is a bass player and had to endure it for the two years that we played together.
chad, what happens when you remove 75% of an electrician's brain power?
he walks right up to the mics and yells, "check 1 2! check check!!!"
LOL |
Tech808
Moderator
Username: Tech808
Post Number: 7100
Registered: 8-2002
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 13, 2005 - 10:58 pm: |
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Kid_vicious,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KID!
Lon
Tech808
CEF808
N9OSN
&
Shirley
1st Sargant
CEF164
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Kid_vicious
Advanced Member
Username: Kid_vicious
Post Number: 607
Registered: 9-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 13, 2005 - 11:00 pm: |
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thanks lon and shirley!!!
i must be getting older; this is the first birthday where i woke up in the morning and didnt remember that it was my birthday. |
Yankee
Advanced Member
Username: Yankee
Post Number: 895
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 14, 2005 - 10:55 am: |
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Matt: I guess this means you are getting older, welcome to the over the hill gang. Happy Birthday. Only four years younger than my baby girl of six children, Christine Marie still living back home in upstate New York. |
Road_warrior
Advanced Member
Username: Road_warrior
Post Number: 834
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 14, 2005 - 12:09 pm: |
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY KID!!!!
JIM/ CEF 375 |
Jburner
Junior Member
Username: Jburner
Post Number: 18
Registered: 3-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 14, 2005 - 1:00 pm: |
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You can't be over the hill if you never got to the top. |
Ajm1571
Intermediate Member
Username: Ajm1571
Post Number: 110
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 14, 2005 - 2:09 pm: |
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HAPPY B-DAY KID!!!!
Allen CEF565 |
Moderator1516
Moderator
Username: Moderator1516
Post Number: 29
Registered: 8-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 14, 2005 - 3:00 pm: |
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happy birthday kid
moderator1516
cef139
ki4kxl
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Kid_vicious
Advanced Member
Username: Kid_vicious
Post Number: 611
Registered: 9-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 14, 2005 - 7:06 pm: |
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thanks guys and gals!!!
i ended up having a pretty good birthday.
the YL had a little surprise party set up for me when i got home from work.
she got me a skillsaw. you gotta love that. (of course, she didnt realize that i have three of them.) no, i didnt tell her.
she said she wanted to get me a new CB toy, but she didnt have a clue what i wanted or what those "crazy gadgets" were for.
she is definitely the girl for me!
thanks again for the kind wishes, hope to talk with you guys on sunday.
matt |
Bigbob
Senior Member
Username: Bigbob
Post Number: 2212
Registered: 12-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 14, 2005 - 7:26 pm: |
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Ahem... Happy Birthday Mister Vicious,now that you are over the hill,you can command more respect from your peers,lol.Bigbob |
Kid_vicious
Advanced Member
Username: Kid_vicious
Post Number: 612
Registered: 9-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 14, 2005 - 10:10 pm: |
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bigbob, that was funny!!!
Mr. Vicious- nope, seems too respectable and sophisticated for me.
i still have long hair (part of the game of being a guitar player), and i still wear jeans that have holes in the knees because they're comfortable.
and two weeks ago some kid of maybe 11 on a skateboard bumped me on the sidewalk and said, "sorry sir".
i still havent gotten over it.
i still refuse to grow up even if i must grow old.
the YL says that im becoming more distinguished looking.
is that a nice way of saying older?
matt |
Chad
Intermediate Member
Username: Chad
Post Number: 444
Registered: 11-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 8:28 am: |
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A gutuar player eh? How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1 to hold it and while whole world revolves around him!!!!!!
Happy birthday, from one muso to another!
This one has no hair  I shaved it and classified it as tempting inevitibility! I just don't have the hair gene in my family. |
Sinker
Member
Username: Sinker
Post Number: 76
Registered: 8-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 9:49 am: |
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Hey Kid vicious - First Happy Birthday. Second "the YL says that im becoming more distinguished looking.
is that a nice way of saying older?"
Means it's time to start coloring your hair back to it's original color - getting rid of the gray you don't want to admit is there. Hey could be worse, you could be going bald like me - not much I can do...
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Kid_vicious
Advanced Member
Username: Kid_vicious
Post Number: 614
Registered: 9-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 9:09 pm: |
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i guess that's why we're into radio instead of television broadcasting eh?
we have faces made for radio. (speak for yourself KV!!!)
chad, i heard that joke a bit differently,
how many GTR players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
100- one to screw it in and 99 to say, "i coulda done that!!!"
you might like this one even though you've probably heard it:
how many roadies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
two- one to screw it in and one to sweep up the broken glass.
thank you, thank you, i'll be here all week; DO NOT try the veal!!!
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Slowhand
Member
Username: Slowhand
Post Number: 77
Registered: 7-2005
| | Posted on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 8:21 am: |
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A hunter on safari endured day after day of constant drumming in the distance. When asked, his guide said "Drums stop..very bad!" Day after day same reply "drums stop..very bad!"
Finally the hunter had enough, why are you so afraid of the drums stopping? What terrible thing is going to happen then?
With a look of dread in his eyes the guide said...
Bass start....
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Chad
Intermediate Member
Username: Chad
Post Number: 447
Registered: 11-2004
| | Posted on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 10:21 am: |
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It's Bass Solo, and it is very bad!
I have never heard the roadie and glass one, strange.
Prosoundweb.com has a great bunch of muso jokes!
Chad |
Slowhand
Member
Username: Slowhand
Post Number: 78
Registered: 7-2005
| | Posted on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 2:29 pm: |
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well, I'm a guitarist (plank spanker), you can't expect me to have all my brain cells. lol |
Chillydog
Junior Member
Username: Chillydog
Post Number: 16
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 7:13 pm: |
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My favorite:
What do you call the stupid bimbos who hang out with musicians?
Drummers.
(As a former drummer, I can tell that one!)
Regards to all!
Bob |
Chillydog
Junior Member
Username: Chillydog
Post Number: 17
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 7:16 pm: |
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Another one:
How many CB Techs does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to do it and the other to tell him he's doing it wrong.
Ok. That's enough from me!
Bob
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Kid_vicious
Advanced Member
Username: Kid_vicious
Post Number: 619
Registered: 9-2004
| | Posted on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 9:14 pm: |
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chad, thanks for the link.
that roadie joke was taken from a grip joke. i work in the entertainment industry.(backstage)
and on we go:
how do you get a GTR player to play quietly?
put sheet music in front of him.
BTW, if anyone wants a quick laugh; go to google, type in "failure"
and click the button called "i'm feeling lucky"
the result is kinda funny if they havent changed anything yet.
matt |
Chad
Intermediate Member
Username: Chad
Post Number: 448
Registered: 11-2004
| | Posted on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 11:36 pm: |
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I work in the industry too. Was more involved as a touring sound engineer for 10 years, now working at the University Of Illinois School Of Music as an electronics Engineer. I have done my fair share of backstage grunt work myself! Still do some festivals and bar bands but not too much.... Trying to crank down a quick masters degree so I can teach performance audio in an upcoming program we will have next year. The you yall can call me professor
How do you know if a drummer is knocking at your door? The knock speeds up...
A percussionist? It slows down.
Next time you can't get a shackle undone or a truss nut is too tight find the newest "greenhorn" member (the over acheiver young kid) and tell them to go to catering and get a bucket of steam... it always loosens up those tricky threads!
When I was on tour with Buffet We had this venue, cant remember which one now, that had NONE of the fly-points where I wanted them... We had bridles everywhere (riggers hate this). I had this kid assigned to audio that was driving me NUTS, I looked at him then looked up and said "you know what we need? Air jacks, I could hang this stack in thin air if I had air jacks... They are in the front of truck 3, they don't weigh much at all, you can handle it." This was a small venue, truck 3 contained flank and delay PA and was FULL! He came back a looooong time later empty handed, pa was flown and voiced by then, I bought him lunch
Got a drummer bugging you? Fill the Hi-Hat with baby powder! (gold bond is always handy and available, Ja know?) It's an amazing sight!
Chad |
Kid_vicious
Advanced Member
Username: Kid_vicious
Post Number: 630
Registered: 9-2004
| | Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 8:48 pm: |
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im laughing so hard right now it's hard to type!!!
right now im in my "office" (the prop room) and the sound guys room is right on the other side of this wall.
sometimes when im bored i'll turn my radio to their channel and listen to them do their pre show checks. and when im really bored, i tap on the wall in time with the drums until they yell.
we have fun!
i havent played in a band in about a year now. working six days a week in the evenings will do that.
the last band i played in was called Punch The Driver. (punchthedriver.com)
im pretty sure our site is still running if you want to check out the tunes or a pic.
im the one with long hair.
i played bass in that band.
always wanted to really learn the in's and out's of audio engineering, but i have so many other addic..er hobbies.
so you're not touring now eh? well there's got to be a convention here soon that will bring you into town.
this goes for any of you planning a visit to vegas. message me or email me before you make your reservations. in this town, knowing a local is as good as gold.
everyone have a great night and no making fun of my pictures!
matt
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